We're laughing at YOU, Democrats.

Socialized Mockery

Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.) told colleagues the White House and Democratic lawmakers need to do a better job telling positive stories about the Affordable Care Act.

In his biggest and most important speeches, the president often talks with passion about a “smarter, more effective government.” He has called on Congress to embrace and pay for a “21st century government that’s open and competent.” And he has vowed to work to “rebuild people’s faith in the institution of government.” Go To Site

For instance, if your Uncle Ted starts calling Obamacare a train wreck, you should calmly explain that he’s “gotten ahold of some old talking points," the spokesman recommends. Then, he suggests that you recite a three-paragraph response citing 14 figures ranging from healthcare inflation to the growth in full-time versus part-time employment.

  “With greater access to affordable, quality health insurance, the Affordable Care Act is helping individuals and strengthening our economy!” the sample script goes. “Now would you like more corn?” Go To Site

A Washington Examiner evaluation of Walmart's employee healthcare plan rated it superior to and more affordable than Obamacare... What's more, Walmart's network of doctors dwarfs Obamacare's. “You will notice there are 9,837 doctors [under Obamacare]. But the larger network is 24,904 doctors. Go To Site

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber, a Democrat, walked out of an interview at the urging of a staff member, when asked about the state’s poor health online exchange that has even underperformed the federal Healthcare.gov exchange... KATU News reports that not a single person has enrolled in the state exchange online since it began in October 2012.

OFA's Pajama Boy

Wear at least 400 square inches of orange. Drink black coffee. Talk about getting an elk with your .30-06.

Buy your OWN insurance, you pathetic man-boy.< br />

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

The staff breathed passion for helping get people coverage and compassion for the difficulties faced by so many Californians. When one of the staff noted that a caller of his had broken down in tears of gratitude and appreciation for their no longer having to live in fear – many around the room nodded in agreement. I asked – “how many of you have also had callers break down in tears of relief?” The response was almost half of the room. These men and women aren't just answering calls, in many ways they’re answering prayers. -Peter V. Lee, executive director of Covered California

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

At a second table, the secretary met Carmen Salero who was trying to sign up online. As the secretary and Salero made small talk, CBS4′s Brian Andrews noticed the site crash on the lap top in front of them. "The screen says I’m sorry but the system is temporarily down," Andrews pointed out. "Uh oh," responded the secretary.

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

The Colorado healthcare exchange has processed applications for thousands of people … and one dog. Shane Smith, of Fort Collins, says his dog Baxter received a letter informing him that a health insurance account had been opened in his name through Connect for Health Colorado. “I thought, ‘Wow, this is so awesome,’” Smith said with a laugh. “They have gone out of their way to insure my 14-year-old Yorkie.” Smith had called Connect for Health Colorado to sign himself up for insurance because his old plan was cancelled due to Obamacare.

It’s no secret the health exchange in Oregon has been a train wreck since it launched Oct. 1. But there might be one bright light amid the darkness. You know those quirky, hipster ads with the “Live Long in Oregon” jingle you can’t get out of your head? They’re going away… for now. Go To Site

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Brilliance, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

Healthcare.gov 'is not firing effectively on all pistons,' White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told reporters on Thursday, in what may be the understatement of the week. When MailOnline visited the website shortly after Carney's daily briefing, the Obamacare portal spewed a nonsensical mixture of computer code instead of a typical login screen. Gone were words like 'Username' and 'Password.' In their place were jumbled programming strings like '???ffe.ee.myAccount.login.username???' and '???ffe.ee.myAccount.login.password???'

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Character, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Lie, Healthcare, Regulation

"The Affordable Care Act, by any fair measure, is working for millions of Americans." -Kathleen Sebelius

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Character, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Lie, Healthcare, Regulation

Despite the reported technical difficulties preventing Americans from enrolling in the new Obamacare exchanges on HealthCare.Gov, Sebelius said: “The website has never crashed. It is functional, but at a very slow speed and very low reliability and has continued to function.” As Sebelius testified before the House Energy and Commerce Committee Wednesday, some users reported getting this message on that website: “The system is down at the moment. We are experiencing technical difficulties and hope to have them resolved soon. Please try again later.”

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

The state Health Department published the wrong list of sites where New Yorkers can get help signing up for Obamacare — leaving businesses confused about why people keep asking them about health insurance, a spokesman admitted to DNAinfo New York. The list — which includes everything from senior centers to bakeries, taxi companies and cupcake shops — was still on the DOH's website Tuesday.

Support for ObamaCare is now coming from the prostitutes at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada. They are voicing their support and telling the media that they really like ObamaCare, particularly because it covers pre-existing conditions. -Eric Scheiner, CNS Go To Site

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops, Crazy, Socialism, Healthcare, Law, Regulation

"Is it possible the Repub party is robot calling the affordable healthcare computers and phone lines in order to tie it up so results dismal" -Tweet from Chris Bollwage, Democrat Mayor of Elizabeth, New Jersey

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Funny, Brilliance, Socialism, Healthcare

As part of a discussion with voters about Obamacare funding, Rep. Corrine Brown (D-Fla.) told one man, “Don’t confuse me with any facts.”

He's Laying Down The Marker...

Obamacare Implementation's

Going to be Great And

People Will Love It

Matthew Yglesias, Liberal Moron.

Democrat, Liberal, Character, Funny, Brilliance, Oops, Lie

House Democratic leaders are holding firm in their support for President Obama's health care law, saying the Affordable Care Act is "working" and that no apology is necessary regarding its problem-plagued rollout... House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer, D-Md., called the president's move "a good step forward." But he added the law already "is working for millions and millions of people right now, and will work for millions and millions of more people."