Amusing Warmist Hysteria
You see, says Greenpeace’s Apocalyptic Santa, if the ice doesn’t stop melting at the North Pole, "there may be no alternative but to cancel Christmas."
“When I take students on field trips, I make them kiss the limestone, because that limestone is just CO2 that’s just locked up in rocks and how Earth has remained habitable.” -Ronald Dorn, professor of geography at Arizona State University 
A new report blames global warming for rising rates of infidelity... Victoria Milan, a dating website for people looking to cheat on their significant other, surveyed 5,000 of its members, both men and women. A shocking 72% of them responded that yes, their own Al Gore-esque stress about unpredictable weather is the cause of their extra-marital dalliances.
As retailer Target sees its stock plummeting and sales dropping in the midst of a boycott over its recently announced pro-transgender bathroom policy, the company’s CEO is insisting the weather is the cause of falling sales, not the company’s bathroom policy. -Warner Todd Huston
Democrat, Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Demagoguery, Terrorism
Secretary of State John Kerry said in Vienna on Friday that air conditioners and refrigerators are as big of a threat to life as the threat of terrorism posed by groups like the Islamic State.... “As we were working together on the challenge of [ISIS] and terrorism,” Kerry said. “It’s hard for some people to grasp it, but what we–you–are doing here right now is of equal importance because it has the ability to literally save life on the planet itself.”
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Incompetence, Funny, Demagoguery
Rhode Island Democratic Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse recently told people gathered in New York City that global warming “denial” hurts U.S. soldiers in the field and that the “main problem” with the military is its reluctance to join the climate crusade... Whitehouse also claimed Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus is starting to evaluate commanders based on their knowledge of how global warming will impact the bases they command.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Science, Narrative
Bread baked using wheat produced under expected climate conditions in 2050 results in smaller loaves due to reduced levels of protein in grain... Long-term global warming could cause loaves of bread to shrink in size due a reduction in the amount of protein in grains, Australian scientists have found. Loaves based on 2050 atmospheric carbon dioxide levels predicted by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change were baked by researchers at the Victorian government and Melbourne University.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced on Friday that people all over the world will need to change their lifestyles in order to prevent the menace of global warming. In his United Nations-sponsored speech, Modi specifically recommended yoga as a way to combat climate change, according to The Indian Express. “Yoga awakens a sense of oneness and harmony with self, society and nature,” Modi asserted. “By changing our lifestyle and creating consciousness, it can help us deal with climate change and create a more balanced world.”
The scientific consensus is so overwhelming that to argue against it is to perpetuate a dangerous fraud. Denial has become a yardstick by which intelligence can be tested. The term climate sceptic is now interchangeable with the term mindless fool. -Dr. Jarrod Gilbert
Environmentalist, Warming, Government, Funny, Fear, Demagoguery, Academia, Waste
Columbia University has received millions in taxpayer funds to create games depicting horrible scenarios that could come about as a result of climate change, including a series of mock voicemails of people screaming, gasping for air and being swept away by waves. Other callers include a man screaming as he is suddenly swallowed up by a giant tsunami and a woman desperately gasping for air because she is “Out of CO2 credits.”
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Government, Funny, Science, Brilliance, Waste
People should eat fewer baked beans to reduce flatulence which can contribute to global warming, a minister suggested today. Fears were raised about the impact of ‘smelly emissions’ caused by Brits eating more beans than any other country in the world. Climate change minister Lady Verma said it was an ‘important’ issue and urged the public to ‘moderate our behaviour’.
Global Warming Attracting Asteroids to Earth?
CNN: Is Global Warming Bringing Asteroids?
H/T: Legal Insurrection
CNN anchor Deb Feyerick asked Saturday afternoon if an approaching asteroid, which will pass by Earth on February 15, “is an example of, perhaps, global warming?” -Leslie Eastman, Legal Insurrection
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Crime, Character, Funny, Un, Brilliance, Crazy
Using the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's warming projections, Ranson calculated that from 2010 to 2099, climate change will "cause" an additional "22,000 murders, 180,000 cases of rape, 1.2 million aggravated assaults, 2.3 million simple assaults, 260,000 robberies, 1.3 million burglaries, 2.2 million cases of larceny, and 580,000 cases of vehicle theft" in the United States.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Oops, Terrorism
“The climate situation is almost surely getting worse,” says Burke. “We know that temperatures are going up, and that soon they will be on average much warmer than anything the region has experienced and this is likely to increase the incidence of conflict.”
You see, says Greenpeace’s Apocalyptic Santa, if the ice doesn’t stop melting at the North Pole, “there may be no alternative but to cancel Christmas.” Worry not, kids. Arctic ice has actually increased this year by 533,000 square miles, which Moos notes in her report, (and total polar ice is at highest point in about a decade). -Jim Lakely
Democrat, Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Incompetence, Funny, Demagoguery
Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) warns sports stadiums are at risk from the "sea level rise effects of climate change," and that climate change specifically threatens hockey and skiing.
Democrat, Environmentalist, Warming, Funny, Brilliance, Demagoguery
Several House Democrats are calling on Congress to recognize that climate change is hurting women more than men, and could even drive poor women to "transactional sex" for survival. The resolution, from Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) and a dozen other Democrats, says the results of climate change include drought and reduced agricultural output. It says these changes can be particularly harmful for women. "[F]ood insecure women with limited socioeconomic resources may be vulnerable to situations such as sex work, transactional sex, and early marriage that put them at risk for HIV, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, and poor reproductive health," it says.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Demagoguery
The North Pole is no longer safe for Santa's Workshop... Click on items below to: Send an ecard to your loved ones... Save Santa from climate change by supporting the David Suzuki Foundation
Warming, Crazy, Fear
If Rudolph wants to adapt to global warming, he may have to lose his most precious assets. (via AlertNet) Or so say experts among the Sami—an indigenous people who occupy the northern extremes of Finland, Norway, and Sweden, and the Kola Peninsula of Russia.
Several House Democrats are calling on Congress to recognize that climate change is hurting women more than men, and could even drive poor women to "transactional sex" for survival.
Warming, Funny, Science, Demagoguery
It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim. Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.
Environmentalist, Warming
Meanwhile, your Internet search has just helped kill the planet. Depending on how long you took and what sites you visited, your search caused the emission of one to 10 grams of carbon into the atmosphere, contributing to global warming.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
More Americans are likely to suffer from kidney stones in the coming years as a result of global warming, according to researchers at the University of Texas.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
The rising ocean raises questions, too: What happens if the 61,000 Marshallese must abandon their low-lying atolls? Would they still be a nation? With a U.N. seat?
And the urgency is that the longer we wait, the further down the pipeline climate travels and works its way into weather, and once it’s in the weather, it’s there for good. -Dr. Heidi Cullen
Warming, Crazy, Fear
a warming trend in Northern cities like New York and Boston is eroding the traditional advantage enjoyed by their teams when playing at home in cold weather.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
CHICAGO (AFP) -- Fish have lost half their average body mass and smaller species are making up a larger proportion of European fish stocks as a result of global warming, a study published Monday has found.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Crazy, Fear, Demagoguery
KUALA LUMPUR: A rose may stop smelling like a rose. This is the concern of environmentalists as flowers are losing their scent due to climate change and air pollution. And their fragrance may be lost forever.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
The effects of climate change have driven women in communities in coastal areas in poor countries like the Philippines into dangerous work, and sometimes even the flesh trade, a United Nations official said.
America’s top military officer in charge of monitoring hostile actions by North Korea, escalating tensions between China and Japan, and a spike in computer attacks traced to China provides an unexpected answer when asked what is the biggest long-term security threat in the Pacific region: climate change.
Warming, Crazy, Fear, Fascism
Christopher Booker is bemused by the wild rhetoric of the climate change lobby.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
As the world heats up and polar ice melts, different types of bears, whales and seals could meet and mate — but these unions may be far from happy, researchers said Wednesday.
"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner
Environmentalist, Warming, Crazy
RATES of mental illnesses including depression and post-traumatic stress will increase as a result of climate change, a report to be released today says. The paper, prepared for the Climate Institute, says loss of social cohesion in the wake of severe weather events related to climate change could be linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress and substance abuse.
A group of House Democrats labeling themselves the Safe Climate Caucus held a press conference today to warn that if Congress does not address global warming, the country could face dire consequences, including detrimental effects to California wines and an end to Vermont skiing. One Democratic representative even worried that global warming could destroy the state of Maryland.
"Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I'm flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes." -Senator Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.)
Warming, Crazy, Fear
SCIENTISTS have warned that Christmas lights are bad for the planet due to huge electricity waste and urged people to get energy efficient festive bulbs.
Warming, Crazy, Fear
Climate change is the "greatest long-term threat" to achieving global equality, UK Foreign Secretary David Miliband has told the United Nations.
Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Narrative, Metaphor
Climate change is expected to alter the global industry in fruits and nuts dramatically as tree crops such as pistachios and cherries struggle in the rising temperatures, researchers said.