Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Government, Funny, Science, Brilliance, Waste

People should eat fewer baked beans to reduce flatulence which can contribute to global warming, a minister suggested today. Fears were raised about the impact of ‘smelly emissions’ caused by Brits eating more beans than any other country in the world. Climate change minister Lady Verma said it was an ‘important’ issue and urged the public to ‘moderate our behaviour’.

Environmentalist, Warming, Funny, Science, Oops

The hapless Australasian Antarctic Expedition is finally homeward bound - and thousands of trees will have to be planted to offset the carbon footprint from the prolonged rescue effort, according to climate change sceptic Rodney Hide. Expedition leader Chris Turney said more trees would be needed than earlier estimated but he was yet to work out how many.

Warming, Incompetence, Science, Oops

Meanwhile colleagues say that the reason Professor Phil Jones has refused Freedom of Information requests is that he may have actually lost the relevant papers.

Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Narrative, Metaphor

Climate change is expected to alter the global industry in fruits and nuts dramatically as tree crops such as pistachios and cherries struggle in the rising temperatures, researchers said.

However widely the weather varies from place to place and time to time, when meteorologists take an average of temperatures around the globe they find that the atmosphere has been growing gradually cooler for the past three decades. The trend shows no indication of reversing. Climatological Cassandras are becoming increasingly apprehensive, for the weather aberrations they are studying may be the harbinger of another ice age.

Environmentalist, Warming, Science

By the early 1970s the CIA was investigating the geopolitical impact of global cooling, including the “megadeaths and social upheaval” that would ensue.

Environmentalist, Warming, Funny, Brilliance, Oops

Last year’s rise in carbon emissions was due to an increase in gas used to heat homes driven by the cold weather.

Environmentalist, Warming, Incompetence, Funny, Science, Un, Oops, Fear

There’s been quite a stink over farting, belching farm animals ruining the planet, and professor Frank Mitloehner wants to clear the air, reports The Billings Gazette. In 2006, the United Nations concluded the livestock industry was a big contributor to climate change, but Mitloehner, an air quality specialist at the University of California-Davis, said recently in a speech that methane gas from livestock was misidentified as the bigger greenhouse gas source than airplanes, trains and automobiles combined, the newspaper reports. “In its report “Livestock’s Long Shadow,” the U.N. concluded that livestock were contributing 18 percent of the world’s greenhouse gases — allegedly more than the entire world’s transpiration. The U.N.’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change used the report to forecast that Himalayan glaciers might vanish within 25 years. Outside groups reacted to the U.N.’s claims by launching efforts to slow global warming by getting the public to go meatless one day a week, as way of lowering demand for livestock products. Mitloehner convinced the U.N. to recant its claim in 2010.

"Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I'm flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes." -Senator Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.)

Warming, Funny, Science, Demagoguery

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim. Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

Democrat, Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Sex, Funny, Science, Brilliance, Demagoguery

Several House Democrats are calling on Congress to recognize that climate change is hurting women more than men, and could even drive poor women to "transactional sex" for survival. The resolution, from Rep. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) and a dozen other Democrats, says the results of climate change include drought and reduced agricultural output. It says these changes can be particularly harmful for women.

Environmentalist, Warming, Funny, Oops

A ship which was used to rescue by helicopter 52 people from a trapped Antarctic ship has now found itself in need of rescue – after it got stuck in heavy ice. Having not moved for several days while preparing to airlift the passengers, the Chinese-owned Snow Dragon is now wedged in ice.

Environmentalist, Warming, Liberal, Funny, Oops

Arctic tours ship MS MALMO with 16 passengers on board got stuck in ice on Sep 3 off Longyearbyen, Svalbard Archipelago, halfway between Norway and North Pole. The ship is on Arctic tour with Climate Change documentary film team, and tourists, concerned with Climate Change and melting Arctic ice.

  All 16 Climate Change warriors were evacuated by helicopter in challenging conditions, all are safe. 7 crew remains on board, waiting for Coast Guard ship assistance.

Environmentalist, Warming, Funny, Science, Oops

A gas-powered Chinese helicopter rescued the 52 global warming scientists and tourists trapped in the Antarctic ice. The evacuation of passengers from a Russian research ship stuck in Antarctic ice since Christmas Eve is finally underway. A Chinese helicopter is picking up all 52 tourists and scientists from the stricken Akademik Shokalskiy.