Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops, Healthcare

Epidemiologists at the state Department of Health are investigating their agency’s own annual holiday luncheon after dozens of employees reported falling ill after the party last week. About 70 staff members claim to have experienced gastrointestinal issues following the catered event at the Harold Runnels Building attended by more than 200 employees, according to a spokesman.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Funny

The House passed legislation Monday aimed at stopping the federal government from mailing letters to people that include their Social Security numbers — including in envelops that have these vital numbers printed on the outside where anyone can see them... "It was on the outside of the envelope," Chaffetz said on the House floor as he laughed. "Mr. Speaker, this it totally and completely unacceptable."

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Science, Politics, Waste, Feminism

The National Science Foundation has spent more than $400,000 on a study that published scientific results on the “relationship between gender and glaciers.”

  The paper “Glaciers, gender, and science,” published in January 2016, concluded that “ice is not just ice,” urging scientists to take a “feminist political ecology and feminist postcolonial” approach when they study melting ice caps and climate change.

Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Sex, Funny, Brilliance

A city Health Department form for new parents requesting birth certificates asks the “woman giving birth” if she’s male or female... And just in case the inquiry is not clear, the birth-certificate request provides a convenient check box and asks the question in capital letters. “What is your DATE OF BIRTH, current AGE and SEX?” the form asks in the section clearly marked “Mother/Parent (Woman Giving Birth).”

  “To be clear, it is possible for a person who has given birth to a child to identify as male,” said Susan Sommer, a lawyer for Lambda Legal, an advocacy group for lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people.

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Oops

Three Secret Service agents responsible for protecting President Obama in Amsterdam this week were sent home and put on administrative leave Sunday after going out for a night of drinking, according to three people familiar with the incident. One of the agents was found drunk and passed out in a hotel hallway, the people said.

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Brilliance, Oops

The office of the Director of National Intelligence released its interactive 2014 Counterterrorism Calendar this week on the website of the National Counterterrorism Center. The map provided with the calendar contains an embarrassing error, misspelling the name of the U.S.'s closest ally in the Middle East, Israel, as "Isreal."

Election, Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops

Billboards reminding Detroiters their vote is their voice are all over the city. They also mistakenly say the general election is September 2... The general election is November 5.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Oops, Waste

According to a new report from the Massachusetts state auditor, well over 1,000 corpses are receiving welfare benefits. The Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA) audit shows 1,164 dead welfare recipients receiving $2.39 million over the course of six to 27 months after plotzing.

Democrat, Liberal, Incompetence, Obama, Funny, Socialism, Healthcare, Regulation

In a little-noticed speech to the Iowa Republican Party this month, Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul mocked President Obama's signature health care overhaul, noting the 122,000 new medical diagnostic codes doctors will have to use in order to inform the government about injuries sustained by Americans. Those codes, said Sen. Paul, a medical doctor himself, include line-items for 'injuries sustained from a turtle', 'walking into a lamppost' and 'injuries sustained from burning water skis.'

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Brilliance, Oops, Metaphor, Jobs

The director of the Massachusetts Highway Safety Division was assigned to a “different role” over the weekend following reports that her driving record included seven traffic accidents, four speeding violations and one infraction for not wearing her seat belt. Sheila Burgess, despite having no background in public safety, transportation or government administration, was appointed to the position in July 2007, according to The Boston Globe.

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops

JOHNSTOWN, Pa. (AP) — The "squirrelly" configuration of a western Pennsylvania road helped cause a state road crew to paint a double-yellow line over a dead raccoon. Motorcyclist Sean McAfee snapped a photo of the mistake before it could be cleaned up and submitted it to the Tribune-Democrat of Johnstown. He says he almost crashed, he was laughing so hard.

Environmentalist, Hypocrisy, Warming, Government, Incompetence, Funny

The Natural Resources Conservation Service, a part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, operates 9,516 vehicles even though it only has 11,605 employees. That works out to one vehicle for every 1.2 employees. The service promotes itself, in part, as a component of the federal government's effort to deal with climate change.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Fraud, Brilliance, Convict, Theft

When Carolyn Modeste earned 30 months in prison a few weeks ago for stealing more than $200,000 from Miami Shores taxpayers, she nabbed a few hundred words in the Miami Herald and a quick mention on the afternoon news... The root of Modeste's crime is much, much dumber: She essentially fell for a classic Nigerian email scam and sent all that money to Africa. "How could you not know this was a fraud?" one dumbfounded prosecutor asked the disgraced official after she pleaded guilty, according to a court transcript.

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Waste

The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is offering tips for planning a healthy meal for your family, including telling parents to use bowls and plates for meals instead of eating directly from containers.

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops, Drugs

A drug suspect was taken to a federal holding facility and “accidentally left in one of the cells” last month until he was found with methamphetamines and and taken to the hospital, the Drug Enforcement Administration said Monday. The suspect was “left” on April 21, according to the agency. The paramedics were called on April 25, the San Diego Fire-Rescue Department confirmed. The DEA was not answering questions on Monday about what happened in the five days in between: Did the suspect have food and water and a toilet?

Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Financial, Funny, Brilliance, Oops

Have you ever bought a brand new cars only to forget where you put it? How about 300 of them? Probably not – unless you're Miami-Dade County, which was recently reunited with 298 vehicles it bought brand new between 2006 and 2007. The county "discovered" this fleet of no-mileage vehicles after reading about them in a Spanish-language newspaper there (see the source for more images). Most of the misplaced motorcade is made up of Toyota Prius hybrids whose warranties either expired with very few miles on the odo or will very soon.

Incompetence, Funny, Waste

Federal government workers sing to President Obama about the Government Services Administration (GSA) "going green," all paid for by taxpayer dollars.

Crime, Government, Guns, Incompetence, Character, Funny

Miami Beach police say two Transportation Security Administration officers partied a little too hard Tuesday night, trashed their South Beach hotel room and then picked up a semi-automatic handgun and shot six rounds out the window. One bullet pierced a $1,500 hurricane impact resistant window at a nearby Barneys New York, penetrated a wall and tore into some jeans in the closed store’s stockroom, according to store manager Adelchi Mancusi. No one was injured.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

The Department of Homeland Security is taking any threat seriously during the Thanksgiving holiday, including the ominous threat to our national security posed by turkey fryers.

Editorial, Government, Incompetence, Funny

FEDERAL AGENTS SEIZE EAR CANDLES IN RAID. The article states that on July 28, U.S. marshals and agents of the Food and Drug Administration "swooped in" to a Columbus health store and "seized about 100 candles." An FDA spokesperson said the candles were seized because they did not have FDA approval, which is required for "anything used for treatment or prevention of disease in humans or animals." An official said that the raid was part of a wider ear-candle crackdown. I, personally, am sleeping better, knowing something is being done about this menace. I'd like to see the FDA program dramatized in a TV series, "Ear Candle Patrol," wherein each week federal agents would confront dangerous, law-violating health-store clerks ("Look out, Matt! She's got a ginseng root!").

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Brilliance

Brussels bureaucrats were ridiculed yesterday after banning drink manufacturers from claiming that water can prevent dehydration.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

WASHINGTON -- A toilet reportedly exploded Monday and injured a woman at the General Services Administration Building in D.C. The D.C. Fire and EMS Department confirms a woman went to the hospital with serious but non-life-threatening injuries. "The GSA National Capital Regional Office Building experienced a building mechanical incident, which we understand may have resulted in injuries," a GSA statement reads.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

It's very weird that someone decides how much paper you get because they don't know what situation you're in," said Friis, 22, laughing in disbelief. "You might need more!

Hypocrisy, Government, Incompetence, Funny

U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood unveiled new fuel-economy window stickers for cars and trucks, saying "we're not just sitting around waiting for high gasoline prices to come down." His ride of choice to the unveiling: This 12-mpg Chevy Suburban SUV.

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops

The U.S. Postal Service inadvertently used a replica of the Statue of Liberty that stands in front of a Las Vegas hotel as the model for its stamp instead of the one in New York Harbor, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reports.

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Oops

Imagine turning your car’s steering wheel, or giving it a gentle tug, and having it break away from the steering column. Now you’re speeding along holding the suddenly useless wheel.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

"We hear it day in and day out: the government sucks, federal employees are lazy and their positions are redundant," said march organizer Steve Ressler, founder of GovLoop, a social networking Web site for public servants.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Brilliance, Oops

More than 89,000 stimulus payments of $250 each went to people who were either dead or in prison, a government investigator says in a new report. The payments, which were part of last year's massive economic recovery package, were meant to increase consumer spending to help stimulate the economy. But about $18 million went to nearly 72,000 people who were dead, according to the report by the Social Security Administration's inspector general. The report estimates that a little more than half of those payments were returned.

Democrat, Liberal, Government, Incompetence, Degeneracy, Financial, Funny, Economy, Adult

The National Endowment for the Arts may be spending some of the money it received from the Recovery and Reinvestment Act to fund nude simulated-sex dances, Saturday night "pervert" revues and the airing of pornographic horror films at art houses in San Francisco.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Funny

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $181,406 this year to a researcher at the University of Kentucky to study how cocaine enhances the sex drive of Japanese quail.

Government, Funny, Waste

Her proposals describes the sculpture this way: "A 10-foot fairy, using an American Toad as 'transportation,' scurries to the entrance of the station. The interior of the toad is illuminated and the sounds of nature emanate from his throat." She said that nature inspired her.

Government, Incompetence, Sex, Financial, Funny

March 8, 2011 (CHICAGO) (WLS) -- The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission has now disciplined 33 employees for accessing pornography while on the job, using government computers.

In this Intelligence Report: Many of them were lawyers and senior officials, and some were in Chicago.

Government, Funny

Health officials have released a mobile phone application to help New Yorkers find free condoms.

The app is designed to locate the five nearest venues that distribute official NYC Condoms in jazzy wrappers printed with colorful subway maps or other city themes.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

Derfler was waiting for his babysitter when he saw his mailman acting odd at a neighbor’s house across the street. The postal worker then pulled down his pants. That’s when Derfler starting snapping pictures. The pictures show the postal worker squatting near some bushes and pulling his pants up. Derfler even photographed what was left behind.

Warming, Government, Incompetence, Funny, Crazy, Fear

“Many USCG [Coast Guard] and Customs and Border Protection facilities, by their mission, are located in the coastal zone which will be adversely impacted by sea level rise. Costs will increase for protecting existing facilities from the impacts of sea level rise and some facilities might have to be abandoned in the longer term.”

Government, Incompetence, Funny

The head of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) offered on Wednesday to have airport screeners come to Capitol Hill to give senators a pat-down so they could fully understand the mechanics of the newly deployed, controversial technique.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

The Transportation Security Administration worker who earlier this year was canned for falsely claiming to have discovered cocaine in the luggage of travelers was a bomb appraisal officer who was supposed to be evaluating new screening equipment at the time he was pranking his unsuspecting targets, records show.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

Carol Combes is the official historian for the village of East Quogue, Long Island. She cares for headstones and writes local obituaries. In June, she was aghast to learn that she was dead. In fact, she had been declared dead for more than a month. “I’m on the computer and am in the Social Security death index, and I’m scanning down and all of the sudden, whoa!” she said. “There’s my name, Carol Combes, where I was born, when I died.”

Government, Incompetence, Funny, Brilliance

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

Today’s the big day for Amtrak’s Wilmington train station. It is being renamed in honor of Vice President and former Delaware Senator Joe Biden following major renovations made possible with stimulus funds. One problem: the CEO of Amtrak got stuck on the train.

Government, Incompetence, Funny

Federal financial literacy efforts are spread among more than 20 different agencies and more than 50 different programs and initiatives, raising concerns about fragmentation and potential duplication of effort.

Government, Incompetence, Financial, Funny

The Senate’s top watchdog on government waste, in a new report Thursday, said taxpayer money has gone to fund such programs as Jell-O wrestling at the South Pole, testing shrimp’s exercise ability on a treadmill and a laundry-folding robot, all funded by the National Science Foundation.